Allentown, NJ 
May 12, 2011

A long overdue hello to everyone.

I apologize for being missing in action for so long.  Since I left California at the beginning of March, I’ve been in an emotional, physical, and even literal whirlwind and it is very evident that my solution to unease is to introvert into my shell.  I’m sorry to everyone for my lack of communication.

I spent March and April basing out of Will Faudree’s Gavilan Farm near Southern Pines, NC.  The hospitality and easy going feel of the barn were lovely.  Through rain, heat, and dodging several major tornadoes, we found our way to Rolex feeling quite a bit disheveled and like none of the pieces were quite where they should be.  Many of you know the outcome of our weekend, but to say the least, it was the highest of highs and then falling pretty low.  We led the dressage ahead of Mary King, Mark Todd, Oliver Townend, and many more best of the best’s.  Finian was very good to score a 40.6, but I can’t help feel that it was nowhere near what he is capable of.  Cross country had some really good parts and some other parts that just weren’t quite good enough.  Unfortunately at the 4* level, not quite good enough is not something you get away with and eventually we had a fall at the farmyard table at the very end of the course.  I take complete blame for all of our mistakes that day, and especially the fall.  I think Finian really stepped up to the plate and gave me his all, and ultimately my inexperience let us down.  I feel like we’re both better for the experience but it is of course hugely disappointing to feel like I let him and so many people down.  I came away from the weekend with more belief than ever in just how special my horse really is, and feeling an even deeper responsibility to make the right choices for his future.  He has so much more to show the world, I can’t help but look forward with enthusiasm to the future.

Monday morning we loaded up and moved to Molly Rosin’s barn in Kirkwood, PA where I spent the night, and then left Finn to enjoy the turnout while McCool and I are at Jersey Fresh.  Yesterday we had jog outs and today we’re just puttering around as we don’t show until tomorrow.  The course looks good, and the weather is the nicest I’ve ever experienced here.  Hopefully we can have good news to report for the rest of the weekend.